Sugar or Spice?

I've been told that I'm a nice person. Some have even said that I'm very nice. I don't say this as either self congratulation or self criticism. Though I have perceived these statements from others as both compliment and critique, I have mostly just come to view them as simply fact. I am nice. There are both better and worse things I could be, I suppose.

I have been desired because I am kind. I have been overlooked because I am sweet. I have at times cultivated, and at others suppressed, my "niceness." Should I be caring, or do I need an edge? Which is more appealing? When is "niceness" an asset, and when is it a liability? These questions have plagued me for most of my conscious existence. Where is the line between "good person" nice and "bland spinster" nice?

I am not saying that I'm never mean. I have been quite mean on several occasions. (Which reminds me, if anyone who reads this knows anyone named Ben Cameron, would you tell him that I'm so sorry? Please beg his forgiveness for me. Seriously--it doesn't even have to be the right Ben Cameron; just do it.) But I am truly never unkind on purpose.

This facet of my personality leads to serious astonishment and bewilderment (and pain, for sure) on my part when someone is NOT nice, and does NOT care about how their behavior affects others. I simply don't understand. It would save me a lot of time and hurt if I could understand this kind of person, but is it possible? Do I really even want to? I don't know that I do.

After spending a year in close proximity to someone who is not nice, I've come to a conclusion. Whether men find "niceness" attractive is irrelevant to me now. I don't mind if people overlook me because I am "too nice." Since I'm prone to extremes, I think I will cling to this side of the spectrum. I'm more comfortable here.

So, to those who have called me nice, thanks for the compliment. To those who prefer edgy, may I introduce you to . . .